i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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