I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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