Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Panties = found
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
