He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm too high and old for this...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
