Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
