Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
