So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
