You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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