Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
