i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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