didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
