I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
