His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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