The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he was CRYING into my vagina
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
