Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
how drunk are you?
Several
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
