If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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