I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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