so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
