I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
