i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
