so that wasnt chicken after all
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
