HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
