I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
