I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
either way he was missing a nipple.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
