why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
