The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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