I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
