Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
