I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
