What a fucking waste of an outfit
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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