So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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