just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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