I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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