I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
