i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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