i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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