ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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