i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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