JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
