Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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