Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
