he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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