Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
