Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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