So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
worst night to have a conscience
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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