She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
