He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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