My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize