The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
