It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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