hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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