you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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