I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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