She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
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i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".