whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
