Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all. http://tfl.nu/8svu
  Replies (31) Good night (2633) Bad night (1217) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons http://tfl.nu/lk3m
  Replies (37) Good night (636) Bad night (4692)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17. http://tfl.nu/5ely
  Replies (80) Good night (14106) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars. http://tfl.nu/d908
  Replies (13) Good night (5447) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him http://tfl.nu/bx2z
  Replies (8) Good night (779) Bad night (3834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset. http://tfl.nu/s72o
  Replies (7) Good night (3829) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit
  Replies (21) Good night (14411) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party http://tfl.nu/2g1j
  Replies (5) Good night (2285) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying. http://tfl.nu/kt03
  Replies (9) Good night (741) Bad night (1949) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused http://tfl.nu/z0he
  Replies (7) Good night (2854) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore http://tfl.nu/d5rl
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (1570)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny http://tfl.nu/4qb9
  Replies (9) Good night (3782) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Why is there a condom in the dishwasher... http://tfl.nu/a7l1
  Replies (20) Good night (651) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  How on earth did you break your wrist?

  (1-530): View more from California

  I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): How on earth did you break your wrist? (1-530): I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing http://tfl.nu/cks1
  Replies (2) Good night (1432) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck" http://tfl.nu/2coz
  Replies (6) Good night (306) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt

Randomize