Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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