nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
