this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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