Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I am available for nakedness
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
