Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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