grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize