Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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