I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
