please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
