everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
