I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
