STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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